Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The bats and the bees

You know how when you get stung twice by a wasp while rescuing the cat from your dad's raccoon trap, and have to call your husband outside to rescue you and the kids from an impending swarm you try to act all tough about it? Like, this is no big deal, I'm a country girl and enormous venom-injecting bugs totally don't bother me at all, and I totally wouldn't have needed your help if it wasn't for all these tall weeds? And then you go down to the basement to wash your comforter and a bat flies into your head and you drop into a fetal position on the floor, throw the comforter over your head, and scream like a little girl for your dad to come rescue you? And you realize that no matter how long you live here you are still a girl and there is no reason to ever get used to airborne rats slapping against your face. And it's a darn good thing there are a bunch of big hulking men around here to save you from them. And then you go home and give your husband a kiss and thank him for the earlier wasp rescue... but you don't tell him about the bat incident. Some things are better off kept secret. (shh, don't tell!) :)


Kate said...

LOL Oh Heather! I love your posts! Glad you survived the wasps and bat!! And I agree that it's nice to have a guy around to save us from such horrid things. :)

Jess said...

What was that about knights and princesses this morning at BS? Thank God for knights who save us from wasps and bats!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Need I ask again? When is your book coming out? Between footless rabbits, sheep hanging from pipes, the smell of dead stinky mouse butts and the chapter on Watson alone, you may need an entire series.