Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Late New Year's Ponderings
Just before Christmas I had a health scare. The kind of health scare that can cause your imagination to take you to all sorts of scary places. And while I had a wonderful vacation and great Christmas, the whole time was underscored by anxiety - waiting for the appointment with the specialist, waiting for the test results, waiting... and while I was doing all that waiting, I found it hard to plan for the new year. I know most people roll their eyes when they hear the term "New Year's Resolution," but I have always liked making plans for a fresh new year, hoping to do a better job at life. But this year I felt more like I was bracing myself for whatever might be ahead, unable to think beyond the test results, and certainly not able to make grand plans for bettering myself.
Well, yesterday I met with the specialist, got the test results, and all of the BAD possibilities were scratched out. Just like that I was in the clear - the new year became a happy reality. But rather than skipping right by what was a very scary and uncomfortable two weeks, I've been taking time to look back rather than forward. First of all, I am so grateful to God that I am healthy. Yes, I have a few minor health issues, but I am not gravely ill, and I am incredibly thankful. Secondly, I am thankful that God draws near to us when we draw near to Him - he promises to do that in the Bible, and I have seen it to be very very true in the last few weeks. That peace that "passes understanding?" - yep, it's for real.
So yes, I have made some plans for the new year, but they are less about what I want and more about what I already have. My marriage. My family. My level of stress and how it affects my kids. Huge things like that which are thrown into the spotlight when you have a scare that puts everything into perspective. I am thankful for those scary two weeks, thankful for a new year, and looking forward to what God has in store for me.